How to put up with sister’s cheating husband

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May 28, 2019 - 10:09 AM

Dear Carolyn: My sister’s husband confessed to an online affair and apparently is going through a major midlife crisis. My poor sister is of course stressed and worried, although they are doing marriage counseling and he is also doing counseling himself (I think).

The problem is we (my mom and I, we’re a very close-knit bunch) now hate this guy’s guts. We were never crazy about him — he’s selfish, rude, etc. — but tolerated him because he made my sister happy. Now he’s not even doing that.

So if they stay together, what’s the best way to deal with him? Because it’s going to be really hard to deal with him after all of this. — Hate His Guts

 

Why?

I’m not being facetious. He was a selfish rude jerk who made your sister happy, and he has since become a selfish rude jerk who makes your sister stressed and worried. If they stay together, then presumably he will be returning to his role as a selfish rude jerk who makes her happy, or at least happy enough for her not to leave.

Which means you can go back to your original modus operandi: putting up with him because he’s part of your sister’s package deal.

It would be lousy, but it wouldn’t be new.

Here’s hoping this mess wakes her up — or the counseling gets through to him.

 

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